the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
