At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize