Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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