i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
