People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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