where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
