So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
