He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
