i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Do you have feelings for this penis?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
