hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
