This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
