Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
