He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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