Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
