yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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