Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize