Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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