You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize