Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
