Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
