You can't motorboat a personality
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
