got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
