Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
only you would photoshop your dick
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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