They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I could fuck to npr.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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