It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
