im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
