sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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