dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
