She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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