If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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