He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
