I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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