you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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