I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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