your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
