So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
