That's when you crack a 10am beer
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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