ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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