I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
