Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
