If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
