He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize