Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
