first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
