4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
