His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
