I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
