i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
