My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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