oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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