sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
