Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize