Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
