I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
