More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
MIDGETS
????
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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