You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize