im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
