My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
