we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
