between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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