my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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