I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm at about main and main street
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize