Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
