My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I AM VODKA MAN
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
