remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
