I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I need to sanitize my soul.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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