dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
