If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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