Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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